Day 100: A tarot reading for the journey ahead
And my first contraction
It is the eve of our due date. This morning we had our weekly visit with our midwife practice. Baby is doing great and seems quite cozy in there (and definitely heads down—confirmed with a quick ultrasound peek!).
So far, I haven’t had any signs of labor. I feel the same as I have these past few weeks. So it was a fun little surprise when our midwife was examining the bump and baby’s position, and told me the exact moment I was having a contraction. It was totally imperceptible to me, but to experienced hands the hardening of my stomach was sure proof that my uterus was in fact preparing for birth.
So who knows exactly how long I’ve been contracting. But I’m trying not to let it get to me since it could still be days and days before the real show begins. I am trying to take advantage of every moment to get everything in order. Tomorrow, on my due date, I am cleaning house and stocking up.
It feels like its own holiday, a sacred time where nothing may happen physically but spiritually this is the biggest milestone yet. 40 weeks, full term, and from here on out anything goes.
And so, I’ll mark this evening by pulling tarot, inspired by the “Almost There” spread from Alicia Vamvoukakis. The deck that I am using is one that my husband and stepdaughter gifted me for Mother’s Day this year — a gorgeous reminder that I don’t need to give up the moon.
Here goes…
All my preparation has taught me…
Card pulled: Five of Wands
In this card, wands (weapons) are raised but no one is striking…yet. My preparation has helped me connect with what I believe, vocalize it, and defend it. Mama bear protectiveness may be a natural instinct, but I’m also learning to not get too ahead of myself, too hasty in my actions that could lead to irreversible shots fired.
What activity can I do to relieve stress?
Card pulled: Three of Pentacles
A sharing of plans and meeting of minds. In the Rider Waite deck, the Three of Pentacles reveals a talented young artist showing their work to architects, all cooperating together on a stunning cathedral. This card is a reminder that I am not in this alone, and my best (stress-relieving) moments are when my partner and I plan for the future and come up with solutions for the beautiful life we are building together. He appreciates my contributions, just as much as I appreciate his.
Who can I rely on when I feel apprehensive?
Card pulled: Knight of Cups
In her spread inspiration, Alicia Vamvoukakis notes that in the family dynamic, knights may represent older siblings (the page is the baby, the Queen and King mother- and father-figures respectively). This Knight of this particular suit is at peace, a little dreamy and optimistic. Perhaps an invitation for me to adopt the wonder and lightness big sister A has about welcoming her baby brother — especially in times of overwhelm and worry.
Important advice I can remember during these times is…
Card pulled: Page of Swords
A page card — perhaps representing the baby, and but I also see myself in this card. My takeaway is to have empathy for both our positions: him being a whole new being in this world, and me a new mom trying to figure it out. Huge eras of growth, and it’s ok not to know all the answers right away. Lead with patience and curiosity to learn.
How can I ground and center when my thoughts run away from me?
Card pulled: Knight of Swords
Another knight! This one charging ahead and confronting missions head-on. The swords suit represents mental acuity and being able to cut through illusion. When my thoughts run away from me, it’s time to get out of my head, get moving, and take action.
And a surprise appearance: the Page of Cups popped out of the deck as I was shuffling. Again, I feel the kinship with my son and the journey we are both finding ourselves on. The Page of Cups stands delighted by wonder and possibility of the world. A card filled with dreamy water signs — creativity, intuition, and a hunger for discovery surround this figure, at any age.
We made it. Thank you for reading Mom Brain. I can’t wait to share more, but for now I will rest and nest.