Day 78: Preparing for a maternity sabbatical

(Not leave)

The more I think about it, the more I don’t like the idea of calling it a “maternity leave.”

And that’s not just a reflection of the fact that I won’t be truly “off” from work when the baby gets here — as a business owner, those moments are rare if not mythical.

The word “leave” evokes a sense of abandonment and stasis. But really leaving is the last thing we’re actually doing. Instead we are called to be our most present, integrative, and adaptive in our lives. We will be uncovering parts of ourselves at hours of the day we were previously not conscious for. We will be learning to manage all of the befores with the addition of an alien guest and a new mode of living that often feels counter to regular adult logic.

We will be doing the opposite of calling out. Rather, we are upleveling: mastering new levels of being and productivity, and unlocking powers and capabilities we didn’t know we had in ourselves.

This post is inspired by a Free Time episode I was listening to long ago on sabbatical planning. I loved the reframe that it poses when we think about taking time off from work: what if it isn’t all about recovery and logging off? What if this is a time for unstructured self-discovery and exploration? A way to integrate new learnings and information, and come back to “daily” life refreshed with a new perspective?

Sure, a maternity sabbatical will include all the diaper changes (both him and me) and the late-night stresses about whether baby is getting enough milk or if he needs to be burped for a sixth time.

But maybe it doesn’t have to be all suffering and sacrifice and surviving. Maybe there is some room to take note of where we are newly flourishing.