Waiting to have a baby wasn’t always easy. It took patience and sheer willpower to combat every wave of baby fever, especially as we witnessed the magic and cuteness and wonder of each of my stepdaughter’s milestones.
The thoughts always crept in:
Wouldn’t it be nice to have another?
I can’t wait for this age again.
Save the outgrown outfits/car seats/toys. You never know!
The longer you wait, the bigger the age gap!
That last one especially got to me. As the years went on, my stepdaughter further distanced from the tiny toddler I met when her dad and I first started dating. All around us in Park Slope were sibling sets no more than 2, 3, maybe 4 years apart. And with each passing year I think there was always a tiny part of us that felt guilty about not having a sibling for her closer to her age. A playmate, a partner in crime, a familiar face in high school years down the road.
But now that a baby is on his way, and in this moment in time, I wouldn’t have it any other way. So far, I love this expansive age gap between sibs. A is old enough now to remember this exciting moment for our family. It’s piqued her natural interest and awareness, and a genuine desire to be a part of it. This is her own special time of becoming — stepping into the role of big sister.
I also think about the adventures these two will have, and the secret sibling language and understanding that only comes from their uniquely collective experience, regardless of age. They’ll be buddies for the hard moments, as well as for the joys. One day she’ll have her driver’s license and he’ll be begging for ice cream runs and to tag along at the movies. I already know this baby is going to look up to his sister so, so much and she will probably be, in many ways, the biggest influence in his life. I can’t wait.
And on the other side of it, too — it was nice just having one kiddo in the home for all those precious years. Letting her be the baby, the youngest. Allowing us to fully take in every milestone. I know we won’t be waiting as long between our second and third. But for now, I’m happy to let the baby be the baby.