I have the best built-in excuse for (almost) anything I do right now: everything is “for the baby.”
“The baby needs to try it all,” I shrug and point to my belly, as we order maybe a few too many appetizers during our first dinner out in Orlando. The comment is immediately endearing to our server.
“The baby needs to stretch,” I say to bow out of a conversation that (to put it nicely) was no longer serving me and my attention span. Everyone smiles as I get up and walk away.
“The baby’s tired.” A pointed reminder to my family that my energy levels are not what they used to be, and I better be getting up from this couch for a good reason!
“One for me and one for the baby,” as I reach for two peanut butter cups at a time. My stepdaughter totally buys it.
“The baby needs a Toyota Tundra.” (Ok, I’m still working on this one.)
Our little guy doesn’t know it yet, but he’s been the referee and mediator in so many discussions, asks, and debates big and small. My buddy and avenger when we stick up for ourselves; my little partner in crime when I try to get away with something (like extra dessert).
People are so forgiving of the whims and wants of pregnant individuals and babies. I find myself taking advantage, using my current state as a shield to advocate for what I personally need in the moment. And I get the hypocrisy and antifeminism of it all—that I should be able to replace “the baby needs” with “I need,” and “it’s for the baby” with “it’s for me,” and still be able to receive the same respect and grace without pushback or pressure.
We’ll see what happens postpartum, when the baby is no longer so “built in” 🙃